I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
