Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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