I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize