i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
