Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
