I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
