He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
lol hangovers are for mortals.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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