I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I wish you could order shots online.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
