Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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