apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
