ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
