Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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