She is in my trunk
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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