Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
