PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Randomize
