Non-Jews are for practice
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
