God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
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I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
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You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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