I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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