Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize