just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
