I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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