Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
