I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
