I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
