I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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