im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i permit you to call me
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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