i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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