walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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