oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
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