check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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