Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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