I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
