oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
barbara walters just said penis...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
