There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
