so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
