I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
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