he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
