i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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