Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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