She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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