she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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