Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Man, jail baloney is awful.
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Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize