Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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