That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
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