Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.

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  (415): I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made. http://tfl.nu/o1d2
  Replies (20) Good night (3325) Bad night (656)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases

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  (702): if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases http://tfl.nu/a7z7
  Replies (13) Good night (721) Bad night (2871)
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  (204): View more from Manitoba

  She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous

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  (204): She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous http://tfl.nu/ntwa
  Replies (17) Good night (8917) Bad night (715)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.

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  (484): I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking. http://tfl.nu/qzjs
  Replies (22) Good night (5394) Bad night (943)
• Favorite

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.

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  (931): Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame. http://tfl.nu/0khd
  Replies (23) Good night (4554) Bad night (1291)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you

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  (570): If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you http://tfl.nu/x3pe
  Replies (14) Good night (3227) Bad night (1326)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?

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  (512): will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you? http://tfl.nu/0iy8
  Replies (18) Good night (5768) Bad night (816)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.

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  (610): I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed. http://tfl.nu/xw1f
  Replies (6) Good night (3018) Bad night (868)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea

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  (423): Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea http://tfl.nu/mhka
  Replies (17) Good night (987) Bad night (2940)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.

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  (412): You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!! (412): I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten. http://tfl.nu/bqpb
  Replies (14) Good night (3647) Bad night (709)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.

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  (202): I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here. http://tfl.nu/svec
  Replies (6) Good night (811) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.

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  (614): Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend. http://tfl.nu/4bsk
  Replies (5) Good night (400) Bad night (776)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.

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  (412): Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face. http://tfl.nu/ja8q
  Replies (1) Good night (210) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  But how do I turn off the feelings though?

  (432): View more from Texas

  Vodka.

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  (325): But how do I turn off the feelings though? (432): Vodka. http://tfl.nu/uucy
  Replies (5) Good night (1219) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me

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  (516): dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me http://tfl.nu/r9vy
  Replies (4) Good night (461) Bad night (158)

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