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I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
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