Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
