Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Randomize
