DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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