So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
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his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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