just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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