If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
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did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
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I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize