Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize