I'm so fucking centered right now
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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