Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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