i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
