Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
