Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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