is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I am available for nakedness
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
