She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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