i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
