Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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