alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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