The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
